If I Knew Then

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Title: If I Knew Then
Artist: T34L
Release Year: 2025
Released as: Album (A Little Crazy)
ISRC: QT6G92594097
ASCAP: 933822555

If I had a dollar for the sorry I owe
To the girl in the mirror ten years ago
I’d be a rich woman, living debt-free
Instead of paying interest on my own misery
I was running on fumes and a ten cent heart
Tearing every good thing I touched apart
Yeah, I thought I was grown, thought I was the queen
But I was just a ghost in a denim machine

Funny how the truth finally finds its voice
Once you’ve run out of breath and run out of choice

If I knew then what I know now
I’d burn the whole script and take a new bow
I’d keep Mom and Dad on the same side of the door
And stop looking for peace in a liquor store
I’d hear Mama’s prayer ‘fore the screen door slammed
I’d give a little grace instead of a damn
Yeah, I’d take a different hand
I’d choose a better man
God knows I would, if I knew then

I’d quit ditching class just to catch a high
With a boy who only knew how to make me cry
I traded my crown for a handful of dust
Mistaking the fire for a holy trust
Mama said, Honey, that flame’s gonna bite
But I liked the way it looked in the middle of the night
Now I’m standing in the kitchen, staring at the wall
Realizing Mama actually knew it all

I was chasing lightning, calling it fate
Now I’m sweeping the ashes off of my plate

But time ain’t a river you can row back up
And regret’s just poison in a silver cup
I can’t save the girl that I used to be
But I can love the hell out of the woman in me

I’ve worn my scars like a Sunday dress
Made a beautiful life out of a beautiful mess

If I knew then what I know now
I’d still fall down, just softer somehow
Life ain’t a straight line, and love ain’t a cure
But I’m still standing, and I’m finally sure
So here’s to the bridges I had to burn
And the heavy-duty lessons I had to learn
I forgive that girl for the way she was
Yeah, I forgive her, just because